Lesson 1
In our relationship coaching work with individuals and couples,
when the issue of jealousy comes up-- the one question we're
asked more than any other is "how do I stop being jealous?"
When people ask us this, they've got a problem with jealousy and most of the time they really know it.
In our own lives, we have a terrific relationship but the
truth is that one of the things we've had to overcome in order
to create this wonderful relationship is that we have had to
confront our jealous patterns.
This may surprise you since we're relationship coaches and
authors but it's true. We've had our own demons to deal with
concerning jealousy and we've come through the other side with a
truly incredible relationship.
This is one of the reasons we're so passionate about helping
people heal their issues around jealousy.
We get so excited when we're able to give someone the tools
to stop the jealousy and take their life back.
For example, in a recent teleseminar that we gave on stopping
jealous behavior,
one man got an instant "ah-ha" about the root cause of his jealousy
and how to stop it in his life. He realized that he was carrying
around an old pattern left over from his childhood where he felt
like his sibling got more attention and love than he did.
Another person had jealousy issues surrounding money nearly
every time he interacted with a friend. After reading and
working on our material, he was able to let his jealousy
go because he realized that he had been focusing on his friend's
life much more than focusing on his own. He learned to begin
focusing on what he wanted in his life and on possibilities
instead of what was lacking.
Another woman had been jealous for as long as she could
remember. With the information we were able to share with her,
she was able to get to the bottom of why she was jealous. She
realized that she and her husband had not been spending the time
alone together that they once did before they had kids and
allowed "life" to get in the way of their romance. As you can
imagine, she was very grateful for the insights into her
situation and took steps to ask for what she wanted.
The important thing for you to understand is that anyone can
heal jealous behaviors-- including you.
We invite you right now to look at your
jealousy and identify your patterns. Make a list of the times
jealousy comes up in your life and what's going on when it does.
Write down what behaviors you do when you are jealous. Often
times, when you see a list of patterns and behaviors, you will
see underlying causes that you may have shoved aside or forgot.
Bringing these to awareness is the first step toward healing.
So, if you become aware of your behavior
and patterns, how do you heal the issue of jealousy?
As amazing as it seems, to stop jealous behavior, it's 99% done
if you do just this one thing...
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